


Adventure Time: New Age

by CharEmblem



Category: Adventure Time
Genre: 1000+ Ooo, Future, Gen, Lore-heavy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-12 21:43:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16003910
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharEmblem/pseuds/CharEmblem
Summary: A thousand years ago, the legendary hero by the name of Phil and his closest allies managed to ward off GOLB from Ooo, ushering in an era of peace. Yet peace never lasts without heroes to champion it, and as the magic in Ooo grows thin, a new threat emerges. Now, in this land of perpetual darkness, a pair of unlikely heroes find hope in one another.





	1. Regarding Cats

**Author's Note:**

> Foreword  
> This story is written with regards to a rather good friend of mine. He enjoyed Adventure Time, and I feel he would've enjoyed the season finale, were he able to see it. I, particularly, did not watch the show extensively, but be it fate or something else, I managed to set my eyes on the series finale in the midst of my busy schedule. The lore of Ooo's future is intriguing, with many questions left, perhaps intentionally, up to the fans to decide. For me, however, Shermy and Beth were among the most intriguing portions of the finale. And I will not admit, it was indeed love at first sight when I first saw them. I found my thoughts drifting to Ooo lately, and Shermy's potential adventures have pushed me into writing this. As of now, a lot of the lore in this story will be mostly speculative, and not confirmed canon. I will be pulling lore from my head, what has been confirmed and implied, as well as Steve Wolfhard's posts on both tumblr and twitter; Wintergreen being an example of this. I will not claim that this is how the future of Ooo went, but I do believe the future of Ooo, however it truly went, would make an excellent story through and through. The Prologue is an example of how lore-intensive this story will be, and it may or may not be inconsequential to the main plot, but I hope it grants the reader insight into the lesser known parts of Ooo, and the culture of Shermy's species which hasn't been truly touched upon.  
>  \- - In regards to my friend Adrian. - -

_December of 2090, after the first moon of the month._

An excerpt from Turtle Princess’ work, _“_ _The Encyclopedia on the inhabitants of Ooo”_

Log no. XV; Regarding Cats.

The conclusion of the admittedly extensive section on the canine, or alternatively referred to as the “dog,” brings us to a more sibling-esque species whose history overlaps with their brethren several times, but mainly in antagonistic confrontations. This chapter will be focusing on this species, and their known history. Felines—more commonly dubbed “cats”—are a rather interesting mammal rumored to have been close to humanity during the height of their power. Unfortunately, no cat currently living can validate such a claim, and many scoff in the face of such a tale, but critics are unable to deny the fact that cats have been a predominant species since the first of our ancestors walked the land of Ooo. As I have claimed on several other logs, I am not entirely equipped with every piece of cat history, despite my extensive research I performed on the subject. As such, I will be enlisting the aid of a book of feline origin, whose author currently lies unknown but its words preserved.      

Said book chronicles the apparent tales of a legendary figure among the cat people, a heroine by the name of Cake. Do not mistake this Cake with the watered-down, and, frankly, uncouth duplicate conjured up by Ice King the First for his stories, who managed to get his hands on the chronicle before it was ultimately retrieved. Said book details a much more impressive, almost godlike figure who taught the ancestors of the cats what courage was, and how best to abandon their previous lifestyle of manipulation and laziness. The chronicle has been duplicated and preserved, and can be found in most bookstores and library as of this date. Many, however, may wish to know more about the remarkable feline who has been somewhat overshadowed by their more distant canine brothers. For such readers, a few notes on important pieces of cat lore are compiled here for ease of access.

Cats have consistently proven themselves to be relatively unobtrusive in the grander history of things, despite their ancient status, existing long before the earliest records of Ooo’s history were even written down. More numerous in the past then they are now, their breeding rate has apparently slowed from what it once was, as a sort of contrast to their canine counterparts. Following a desire to conserve energy via resting, they prefer peace, and the silence that comes with it. To that end did they settle in the quiet corners of the woodlands and plains, allowing the sun to warm their fur as they drifted off to sleep, sometimes alone, and sometimes with others close by. Such is their love for napping that the term “cat nap” was termed, and a well-tilled ground to sleep on was all an respectable adult needed to seek out in feline culture.

Even in the days before the first of the Kingdoms were created, cats had always remained fearful of the other species, as a sort of rule written into their very being. They have long since taken to the far corners of Ooo, hiding out in the trees of the Great Forest that dots the eastern half of Ooo. Notwithstanding their slow breeding rate, their reclusive nature makes it harder and harder for them to be found, a trait they are particularly good at. With eyes perfectly adapted to darkness, along with flexible, and swift bodies coupled with nimble reflexes, it is of little wonder why cats have remained relatively untouched by all those who wander Ooo. They can slip in and out, unnoticed by even the most keen of birds, disappearing swiftly and silently when they do not wish to be found. Such an ability has been noted as almost magical by those unfamiliar with them, but cats have never truly studied magic, and it remains to be seen what their capacity for magic is—if there is any. No, it is their professional skill and aptitude gained from both hereditary and practice that have rendered their elusiveness inimitable by other species.  

They are a little people, of short stature and of shy hearts. Matching the sizes of the largest of gnomes, most cats seldom reach the height of the shortest of dogs, though there seems to be some exceptions. As described in the Chronicles of Cake, the white tiger rode by one of the humans she encountered stood well above the cat, who had been detailed quite vividly to mirror the height of the average dog. Despite this, a tiger is normally classified as a “big cat,” which obviously lends itself to such a description.  

Historical records describe cats as epitomes of laziness and manipulation, said to be able to enthrall any being with their charms alone. A clear exaggeration, but nevertheless, said descriptions are rooted in some level of truth. Around the apparent time that the fabled humans were dominant, cats were supposedly viewed as a sort of alternative to the common dog, trading a more proactive and loyal animal for a rather finicky and picky feline. These cats would live with their owners, following their nature and lounging around, wandering the grounds like they owned the place. They sometimes played jokes on their human familiars, interrupting them during work and falling asleep on them in a rather awkward position so they couldn’t move. Despite their constant demand for attention and their sense of humor, the humans who owned them adored them, for reasons some couldn’t understand. Whether it was genuine love or magical manipulation is unknown, but their supposed interactions with humans remained similar in most written records of that curious time.   

After the mythical Great War, the cat people spread out across the land, taking to the forests that called to them. As the magic of Ooo touched the land, cats reacted well to it, evolving positively throughout the years. Eventually, the Candy Kingdom was formed, but remained oblivious to the presence of the felines. It was apparently around this time that the legendary hero Cake appeared to the ancestor of the current King of the Box Kingdom, instructing him to gather his kin and journey east until they discovered an area where a great civilization could be built. Said ancestor did as he was told, taking a wife and several kids with him. The journey took years, partly because this ancestor was well known for having a terrible sense of direction. Growing old and weary, he passed the burden of finding this “promised land” of sorts to his eldest son, who managed to locate the area deep within the northeastern parts of the Great Forest.

With the ancestral cat family came their only possession: a box inherited from their days in the aftermath of the Great War. A box that served as their shelter and protection from the cold nights and rainy days. The box was used to mark the cornerstone of the Kingdom, and thus its namesake was made. Boxes became immensely sacred to the culture and religion of the cat people, becoming symbols of tranquility and peace. They eventually became integrated into Box Kingdom society, requiring all cats to wear them outdoors, in order to protect themselves and mask their emotions and thoughts from outsiders. Peculiar, indeed, to outsiders, but to the cats wearing such items made perfect sense. Despite clumsy mishaps that occur often due to them not being able to see out of these boxes, the tradition persists to these day.

Rarely did cats engage in warfare, as they were never warlike or wrathful. To defend their home, or their loved ones, a cat would fight fiercely, but it would always be in self-defense rather than aggression. In olden times, perhaps, they would be more obligated to do battle in an effort to maintain themselves, but it is ancient history, and no Kingdom has truly scorned a cat for reasons of battle. Trophies and relics from these times remained in the Box Castle, observed by the nobility for reasons of historical remembrance. Despite years of ease and peace, they did little to dull their keen reflexes.

The Box Kingdom, despite existing since the creation of the Candy Kingdom’s main castle, remained relatively secluded from the budding politics of the other Kingdoms. Indeed, they remained a bit of a myth, and the cats were even marked to be labeled extinct by those who knew of them. In truth, however, the cats—if they hadn’t died out yet—migrated to the Box Kingdom, rarely venturing out from the forest. And while their technology remained stagnant, their culture evolved faster than all others. Family became an all-too important tradition amongst the cats, with households in the Box Kingdom becoming larger and larger, with some families enjoying vast households with several generations living within. Nevertheless, family relationships became increasingly important as the cat breeding rate slowed to a crawl. Litters of seven or eight became five or four, then three, the all too common two, and the prevalent one. Similarly, the cats cherished their relationships with friends, connecting families through such a bond as well; perhaps even filling in the void resulting from a lack of a true family.

In conclusion, the cat people are a rather ancient, and at the same time, relatively new species. They are mysterious, but that is only because they have yet to show us what they are truly capable of; if they are capable of anything. They still have their secrets, and they guard said secrets jealousy. In any case, their reclusiveness does not make them unfriendly or hostile. On the contrary, those who are able to make a cat open up to them will meet a rather loyal and strong-willed companion. In dealing with cats, it is important to remember their disdain for water, and to make sure that the topic of familial bonds is treated with the utmost respect. Do this, and perhaps you shall discover something truly special that lurks within these remarkable people.

* * *

 Arriving at the end of the chapter, Beth turned the section’s final page, before closing the book fully. She glanced at the clock; she had lost track of time. If she’s seen out of the castle at this hour, she’d be chewed out for sure. She exited her seat, bringing the volume with her as she sought out its owner. The old, world-weary Turtle Princess, sat at her desk filing papers in an effort to stay awake. She gave a warm smile once she noticed the Pup Princess hanging on to her desk, glancing down briefly at the returned encyclopedia.

“Ah. Done for the day?” Turtle Princess croaked, before tapping on the cover. “Not going to check it out, young one? You were so engrossed in it…”   

“Nope! I only wanted to read one thing.”

The turtle tilted her head. “And what would that be, if I may ask?”

“Have you ever… met a cat before, miss?” Beth asked, answering her question with one of her own.

“A cat? Can’t say I have, dear. Save for… ah.” She blushed slightly. “The Box Prince. He was… very charming. But we barely held a conversation, mind you. Why do you ask?”

There was a pause as Turtle Princess silently read Beth’s face. The librarian sat back in her seat, moving aside a lock of her gray hair.

“I see… you wish to meet one. Then perhaps if you wish, and wish very strongly, young one.”

“I will.”

“Then I suppose it’s time for you to head home, hm? I’d hate to break the news to your Mother that the Pup Princess was outside of her curfew in my library.”

The pup nodded, heading for the exit. “Thanks, miss Turtle!”

She exited the building, Turtle Princess waving as she departed. She chuckled to herself, before returning her gaze to her desk. There was something about that pup that reminded Turtle Princess of herself. A love for knowledge, for reading… and the childlike innocence common to six-year olds didn’t hurt the image either. It was almost like a callback… to simpler times. A time where her husband was still around, a time of happiness. A time where that human would frequent her library, the legendary hero… Phil, was it? Yes, it had to be…

Her thoughts overwhelmed her, her memories flooding back, vivid images of days long past. And she smiled once more, at a heightened level of peace. In her old age, it was rare that she knew such bliss, such euphoria… but now that it had returned… perhaps she could hold on to it for a little longer. She nodded her head, drifting into sleep. A peaceful sleep, and one that she could never truly wake up from.

_…_

Somewhere, on the outskirts of the Great Forest, atop a lone hill that offered an impressive view of the grasslands, a lone cat stood. He was armed only with a red shirt, a satchel—and a long for adventure. He had a plan, a desire, and a road he yearned to travel. All he needed was someone to come along with him.

* * *

 

_Everything stays_

_Right where you left it_

_Everything stays_

_but it still changes_

_..._

CharEmblem presents…

**Adventure Time: New Age**


	2. Fledglings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Geez, sorry for the oddly long wait. September was largely hectic for me, so this took longer than I'd have liked. Hopefully I can attempt to stick to a biweekly update on Fridays.

“We’re gonna _die!_ ”

The trio of hot dog knights huddled in fear as the werewolf hissed and snarled, it’s fangs bared in hunger. It towered over them, a great beast wrapped in the darkness of the cave. The creature was rare in this part of Ooo, but this particular group of knights seemed to have a rather unfortunate string of bad luck. In any case, they believed this was the end, as it certainly looked that way.

“Don’t eat me, I’m _not_ tasty!” said one. “Not at _all_ _!_ ”

“Uh, you definitely _look_ tasty,” another muttered. “Have you ever wondered why we aren’t cannibals? We’re literally—“

His two companions glared at him, speaking in unison. “Bobby, shut the hell up!”

Hunched over and drooling from hunger, the werewolf narrowed its eyes, eager to begin its feast. It raised a black-furred arm, its claws sharpened from weeks of use, in preparation of a decisive swipe. The knights shut their eyes, bracing for the end.

“Hey! Ugly!”

The voice froze the beast, who whirred around to glare at the new arrival; a gray cat with large, floppy ears, beady eyes, and cheeks dotted with freckles. Garbed in a red shirt and brown satchel, it was armed with a silver sword that was clearly not made for someone of its stature, but it was nevertheless held with pride. The werewolf’s eyes caught the glint of the blade, and fear overcame it. It’s attention shifted entirely on the cat, who smirked once he realized such.

“Shermy!” the knights screamed in unison.

“Alright, furball!” Shermy piped enthusiastically. “Why don’t you…”

There was a pause as he trailed off, his eyes glancing off into the distance. He blinked silently, before reaching into his satchel and pulling out a set of cards. He planted his sword, fumbling through the messily-written notes quickly. The derailment left the others in a cloud of confusion, especially the werewolf, who was taken aback by it all.

A hot dog knight shifted awkwardly. “Uh, Shermy?”

“Uh, one second, I had a great one liner, but I totally forgot it!” He explained, before shaking his head. “Man, I’m so new to this hero thing…”

The werewolf snarled in response, baffled. It’s eyes darted around impatiently, before grumbling and turning back to the distressed knights.

“L-Look, if you’re gonna eat us, then at least properly prepare first!” Bobby pleaded. “Y’know! Ketchup and mustard!

The werewolf smiled, pulling out a bib from seemingly nowhere and tying it around his neck. He then retrieved a ketchup bottle hidden within his fur, undid the cap, and drenched the poor souls in a shower of the red sauce. Shermy groaned, tossing his cards aside and drawing his blade, charging towards the werewolf. It noticed his advance, growling in excitement as it nimbly dodged a rather clumsy slash, ripping off its bib as it landed on all fours. Shermy gripped the hilt of his sword, resting it so that the tip pointed true to his enemy. His blood was pumping; this was one of the few occasions where he was fighting without Beth’s aid or guidance. He was more than eager to prove that he was a capable fighter, even on his own.

_That’s right._ He smiled as he observed his stance. _Like a true hero…_

His trial by fire began quickly as the werewolf initiated a charge of its own. Shermy smirked as he leapt aside, rolling to his feet. The werewolf turned round and rushed him, to which the cat responded with a slash to its cheek, coupled with a hastily-executed jump to the left. The sword met resistance, rebounding back and tripping Shermy up, forcing him to release his grip on the hilt and fall onto the ground. The werewolf growled, acknowledging the strike, but it was nothing debilitating. After all, it was Shermy that was now defenseless, not the wolf.

The cat scooted back, stunned at being disarmed by simple physics. The werewolf snarled as it honed in on the helpless cat, who glanced at the sword lying inches away from him—and resting even closer to the hot dog knights. Why they haven’t already fled was one thing, but if they were just going to sit there they should make themselves useful.

“Hey, guys! Slide the sword over, will ya?”

The three glanced at one another, before Bobby nodded. “Uh, okay!”

The weapon was weakly pushed in Shermy’s direction. He groaned silently as the sword moved slightly closer, just short of finger range. The werewolf was practically hovering over him now, and it was do or die. And what kind of a hero would he be if he died here?

“He’s gonna die!” A hot dog knight covered his eyes. “I can’t look!”

Shermy edged towards his sword, all the while his adversary closed in, practically drooling over the poor cat. Finally, Shermy’s hand touched the cold steel, and he quickly hovered it over his body, reinforcing his grip with his other hand as the werewolf’s mouth clamped on the blade. Its snout stopped just short of Shermy’s face, far too close for comfort. The werewolf struggled to remove the blade, but Shermy’s interference made sure it wouldn’t budge. Its eyes narrowed, the werewolf reared back and raised its head, taking the sword—and its wielder—up into the air. The sword came loose as Shermy flipped through the air, suddenly faced with the beast’s back. Wildly, he swung his blade several times, with the last few hits connecting. The wolf howled as Shermy landed on his back, panting profusely.

“Hey, hey! Look at him go!”

The hot dog knights were entirely amused. They haven’t seen any sort of action all week, after all. Well, any sort of action that didn’t involve them at the mercy of some monster. Shermy gave a sigh of relief as he stood up. If Beth were here, perhaps she would have warned the cat not to let his guard down, or not to get in over his head, or at least warn him of the charging werewolf, who was practically seeing red. Unfortunately for Shermy, she wasn’t here. He barely had the time to retrieve his sword before the wolf slashed at him with its razor-sharp claws. The sound of fabric ripping filled the air, before a burst of pain shot through Shermy’s body. The werewolf showed no quarter, however, and brought down its other club of an arm. The cat performed another desperate swing, hoping to at least halt its attack. Though, it probably would’ve helped if he hadn’t shut his eyes before attacking.

There was another blood curdling howl, but this time, it was one of pain. Shermy opened his eyes, gazing at the retreating werewolf, who was holding its arm in pain. Its left hand had been chopped clean off, with blood covering the ground—and Shermy’s sword. Defeated for now, the werewolf fled into a nearby tunnel, leading deeper into the cave.  

A moment of silence followed, ultimately giving way to the rejoicing cheers of the hot dog knights. Shermy gave a weak smile as the trio crowded around him, but his mind quickly focused on his wound. He wasn’t bleeding badly, but his shirt was practically destroyed. His favorite one, at that.

“Let’s get out of here,” A knight insiste️d. “I need a drink and a nap.

No protests there. The group gathered what scattered belongings they had before departing the cave eagerly.

* * *

 

**Shermy and Beth’s cave**

“That’s the third time to week, guys. Try not to be so reckless next time, okay?”

Shermy awaited the knight’s response, arms crossed. The trio glanced at each other, before nodding in unison.

“Yeah! Won’t happen again!”

“We _promise_.”

Shermy closed his eyes. “That’s what you said the last time…”

The sun was beginning to set, prepared to abandon the group in the darkness of night. Shermy stood in front of the entrance to his house—or rather, his cave—standing parallel to Beth, who had been out all day. The gash Shermy had produced caught her attention almost immediately when the two reunited, but she wasn’t about to bring it up just yet.

“You three should get going, then,” Beth  said. “Do tell the Princess we said hello.”

A knight nodded. “Of course! Thanks again!”

And the trio departed, grateful, yet none the wiser. They possessed a natural affinity for foolishness, and it only a matter of time before another rescue would be needed. A fact not entirely lost on Shermy, but he enjoyed the feeling of being needed.

Shermy sighed, shaking his head. “Those guys are really stupid.”

“So are you!” Beth immediately shot. “I can’t believe you went off after them by yourself!”

He should’ve expected that. His grin faded as he glanced at Beth, narrowing his eyes.

“Oh, come on, Beth!” He pleaded, his tail swishing in the air. “I’m not a kid! I’m alive, aren’t I?”

“You could’ve _died_. You’re not ready to be fighting werewolves yet! You can barely swing that sword!”

Shermy groaned, his ears dropping as he turned to the cavern mouth. “Quit overreacting, will ya? I’m gonna get better.”

“Go inside and patch yourself up, then,” Beth ordered. “And take that shirt off, I’ll have to sew it up again.”

“What am I supposed to wear?”

“You’ve got that old blue shirt, don’t you?”

Ah, the dreaded blue shirt. Shermy was definitely put off by that. “ _Ughhhhh,_ I _hate_ that one.”

“Well it’s the only other shirt in your size, Shermy.”

The cat crossed the cavern floor until he arrived at his house, a rather quaint pink building illuminated with several strings of Christmas lights hanging from the gutters. Shermy hopped over the unfinished wooden fence, approaching the house’s entrance. The white door was opened, bringing Shermy into the living room, which was ridiculously cluttered as usual.

He placed his sword and satchel on the ground, then tossed his shirt off. He approached a drawer, pulling it open and retrieving a roll of gauze. He bandaged himself, before leaping opening a nearby chest and shifting through its contents: a wig, some weird headbands, antlers, those cracked glasses he stole from the King of Ooo’s house…

Well, it’s not like he wore them since then, so he made a mental note to return them soon. Finally, buried deep within the chest, was the light blue shirt, which had been seldom worn. He put it on, albeit hesitantly. He could barely remember when he first got it; just that he had happened upon it during a scavenging run. He didn’t know _why_ he took it, but he did.

Shermy perked up at the sound of the door shutting, ready to voice his dissatisfaction to Beth. Seeing that look in his eyes, the pup sighed and retrieved the discarded red shirt, making her way to the workbench near the back kitchen.

“Hey, be careful.” Shermy climbed on top of a shelf. “That’s my favorite shirt.”

“Like I couldn’t tell. You really went and messed it up, didn’t you?”

“It wasn’t my fault, it was the werewolf’s!”

She shook her head, running the fabric through a sewing machine. “You could’ve called me, y’know. You can’t be so reckless…”

“Well, I didn’t want to pull you from your _exciting_ job at the library,” Shermy snided. “What do you even do there? Dust off books?”

“Why don’t you come down tomorrow and find out?”

“Pfft. _Boring_.”

Beth sighed as she continued her work, knowing that the topic of the library was taboo. For the sake of Shermy’s feelings she withheld the fact that his most hated place was the only real source of income for the duo; at least until his adventuring “career” took off, that is. She didn’t have the time nor the desire to keep track of him every day, but if he was going to get bolder and bolder, eventually he’ll quickly bite off more than he can chew and wind up dead… or worse. The thought slowed Beth’s works as she mused, before she eventually stopped completely. He put on a brave face, but if he got himself killed, she’d never forgive herself.

“Did we get any mail?” Shermy called, breaking Beth out of her thoughts.

“Oh, I totally forgot to check.” She gestured towards the front door. “Can you go see for me?”

“Yeah! I’m on it.”

The door opened, then shut. Beth returned to her work—and her thoughts. Thoughts on the curious affinity Shermy had to heroics. Perhaps it was born of ignorance, for anyone who's read the history books know that there’s a pattern concerning the fates of heroes. And there has always been a notable, and understandable, lack of them, especially nowadays. If there was something special that needed to be taught, there were none left to teach it. Certainly not in the form of the hero Billy, who met his end at an enemy he had thought defeated. It took his own successor, Phil, to actually slay the Lich, but even then something greater rose to take its place. And, as much as it pained her to admit it, she simply couldn’t see Shermy taking on something like the Lich. Yet knowing him… he’d be the first one to challenge a being of pure evil.

Beth felt a pain in her hand. Her hand slipped under the machine and got pricked as a result. Perhaps she should’ve paid more attention. She turned, searching for something to bandage it, noticing the discarded roll of gauze Shermy left on his bed. Unwilling to get up, she quieted her mind, focusing on the item in question, before exhaling as she activated her power. Her belly button opened ever so slightly as she moved her hand, gripping the edge of the object as it exited. Blue sparks scattered through the air as the roll finished materializing. After the process was completed, her stomach growled; she certainly shouldn’t have done that on an empty stomach.

Beth glanced at the kitchen as she wrapped her hand. _What do we have to eat?_

“ _Beth!_ You’re not gonna believe this!”

Shermy kicked the door shut, dumping a package on a table nearby. Beth immediately identified its shape, standing up quickly.

“Oh, be careful with that! What’s gotten into you?”

“Today’s the annual _Hair Ball_! I totally forgot!” He glanced around quickly. “Where’s my…!?”

Beth blinked as Shermy dived into a chest near his bed. “The Hair Ball? That cat thing again? Can’t they name it something more… uh, what’s the word…”

Shermy tossed a few things out of the container, before rising out of the chest with a sweater on his head. He frowned, climbing out and scratching his head.

“What’s wrong with the name? Oh, forget it… you know what this means!? I’m more surprised I even got invited!”

Beth observed his frantic search through his belongings, glancing silently at discarded items as they flew around the room. “Can you stop freaking out? Honestly…”

There was a pause as Shermy’s tail whipped around in the air, before the cat pulled out a cardboard box, worn out after weeks of disuse. He dusted it off, inspecting it as he did so.

“Check it out, Beth!” He turned to the front of the container, marked with two gouged out holes and a crudely-drawn smile.

The pup offered a sheepish smile. “Yeesh. It’s pretty beat-up.” Shermy slid underneath the box, getting on all fours and rising, much to Beth’s dismay. “You’re not going _out_ in that thing, are you?”

“Well, duh,” he replied, muffled slightly by the cardboard. “You can’t just walk into the Box Kingdom without a box, Beth. I should know.”

With that, he advanced towards the door, struggling a bit as he adjusted to the small peepholes that tunnel-visioned him. Beth watched Shermy fumble around for a moment, bumping into walls and furniture more times than he would’ve liked to admit. After a few seconds of this, the pup pulled the box off of him, causing him to stand upright in confusion.

“These eye holes are way too small, Shermy, you’ll probably fall off a cliff before you get to the Box Kingdom.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” Shermy grumbled as the pup walked over towards a drawer. “You’re coming, right?”  

“Uh, no, don’t you remember last time?” Beth said, cutting larger holes into the box. “Besides, I have other things to do. Maybe read that novel I was meaning to, and—”

Shermy loosed an obnoxious groan, pulling the tips of his ears to hold them closed. “ _Alright_ , forget I asked. Geez, you’re so boring!”

“You call _everything_ boring,” Beth muttered, finishing her work and handing the box to him. “Why’s it so hard to get you to crack a book?”

“Dude, heroes don’t _read_. They punch stuff! How many times do I gotta tell ya?”

With that, he slipped the box over his head once more, pausing a moment to assess himself. His ears were no longer encumbered by the box, oddly, they were loose and free in the air. It was a welcome addition.

“I took the liberty of making some more room for you,” Beth’s voice explained. “Hope you don’t mind.”

Shermy turned to face her. “Hey, that’s pretty good! … Thanks, Beth.”

“Don’t mention it.” She pulled up a chair at her desk. “And when you get to the Box Kingdom, try not to act stupid.”

“Pfft, when have I ever done that?” Shermy replied confidently, approaching the door. He stopped suddenly, turning towards Beth, who was shaking her head in a knowing-fashion. “Don’t answer that.”

It didn’t take long for Shermy to realize he couldn’t exactly operate said door in his current position. He sighed, stood up, and opened the way out of his house, carrying the cardboard box with him. The door shut behind him as he stepped out into the cave, his tail swishing behind him. His ears drooped silently, a feeling welling up in his gut. He adjusted his satchel, scoffing at the sight of his blue shirt. He seemed to have everything, but he felt oddly naked; like he had forgotten something rather important. Something that would make him feel… complete.

His ears perked up as it him. “The sword—!”

The door opened once more, this time revealing the female pup carrying the familiar silver sword. She cast a smirk in the cat’s direction before handing it over to him, who took it by the hilt, tenderly.

“Don’t stay out too late, alright? You know we have to be somewhere tomorrow.”

Shermy holstered the sword on his back. “I got it, I’m not staying for long.”

“Alright,” Beth said. “Say hi to the Box Princess for me, we haven’t seen each other in months.”

“Got it. See ya later, Beth.”

The pup nodded, which was Shermy’s cue to leave. Beth lingered in the doorway for a few moments as her friend approached the mouth of the cave. Her smile faded into a frown as she shook her head. A hero who couldn’t even keep track of his own sword. It was a shame he wasn’t taking as much care with it as he should… that blade had such an beautiful glean. Especially that blue sphere it sported. Was it a gemstone? Or something else entirely? She hadn’t really inspected it closely; after all it never left Shermy’s side… except for when he loses it. They hadn’t even shown it to the King of Ooo yet.

Beth sighed as she entered her home, realizing how little they knew about the weapon. “Oh, Shermy… you’re such a scatterbrain… I think it’s rubbing off on me.”

* * *

 

**Great Forest**

For as long as Shermy could remember, the eastern portion of Ooo had been overrun with trees and plants, with canopies that blotted out the sun and stretched on into the dull blue sky. Longer still had these forests consolidated into an area that covered the land of the Box Kingdom and beyond, stretching out until land gave way to sea. This conglomerate of trees became known as the Great Forest, encompassing the entire eastern province of Ooo. The road through the woods leading to the Box Kingdom has been long laid out and beaten, in order to maximize trade efficiency; and it was a road that all cats knew very well, as if it was hard coded into their minds at birth. The all-too familiar entrance to the forest road was marked by two trees whose leaves had been magically frozen in the colors they’d take during autumn; a contrast to the otherwise consistent evergreens around them.

Said entrance to said path, which ran northward, was a decent but not at all exhausting walk from Shermy’s house, much to his relief. Having to lug a box around took its toll on his arms, but he continued proudly into the night. After all, what kind of a hero would he be if he just gave up to exhaustion? No, he marched boldly into the woods, used and not at all uneased by the woodland sounds spurred on by the moon’s light.

… Of course, that would be what he’d want me to tell you. In truth, the sounds that the forest offered were unusual and foreign to him, perhaps due to his rather long berth from forest journeys. The poor thing was practically pissing himself uneasily. Eventually, he went so far as to draw his sword, dragging his box along the ground in the other. It proved to offer the necessary level of confidence; if anything jumped out at him, he’d slash at it without hesitation. He smirked as he reached this conclusion, his ears on high alert.

He muttered to himself as he recalled a key fork in the road. “Remember to go left, not right…”

Simple enough to remember. He was about to holster his blade again after regaining confidence when he heard a rather unusual, but familiar sound. It wasn’t a howl, or anything remotely animal-like. It sounded more like… mumbling. Shermy glanced in the direction of the sound, approaching the bushes with a tightened grip on his weapon. He discarded his box mid-stride, spotting something moving in the undergrowth. It was purple… and it was closing the distance between it and Shermy rather quickly. Whatever it was, it wasn’t about to get the first strike—not if Shermy could help it. He raised his sword over his head, ready to swing downward.

It didn’t take long for the creature to reveal itself… no doubt a hideous beast fully prepared to do battle with the fledgling adventurer and bathe in his blood when it’s devilish work was completed. A terrible animal, a horrifying beast, it was none other than…

Shermy’s jaw dropped as his grip on the blade loosened. “ _Lumpy Space Princess_?!”

“What are you doing here—were you going to _hit_ me with that?!” She demanded, although she didn’t give him a chance to respond. “Oh, you totally were! I’m _so_ calling the cops! I can’t believe you’re _actually_ trying to kill me, right now! I always knew you were a bad kid! The freckles were a _dead_ giveaway!”

A cold sweat ran down Shermy’s face. “Nice to see you too, LSP…”

Shermy glanced around the small clearing. “Why are you out in the woods at night, again?”

“Isn’t it _obvious?_ My Dad is _such_ a chode! He’s all like,”you used the portal last so you need to seal it!” Can you believe it? Sending his own daughter out into the woods at _night?_ ”

And she huffed, her hands on her hips… or whatever part of her body that was closest to them. Her legs floated mere inches above the ground, a testament to her tendency to do everything at the bare minimum. Shermy had met her by chance at the Hit Dog Kingdom, but that was months ago. After all, her kind rarely left Lumpy Space, and they became fabled for throwing the most intense, but extremely exclusive parties. The two were rather indifferent to one another, but at least Shermy thought she looked funny. Her head kinda looked like a butt.

The thought almost forced a smile on his face, and it took some effort to fight the urge. He glanced at the frog sitting motionlessly in a mushroom in the center of the clearing. The pair looked extremely out of place.

“Is that why that frog’s here?”

“Pssh, well _duh_ . You know how much work it is to move it and everything? I’m _so_ not cut out for this.”

Shermy nodded, deciding to take a breather and sit on his box, his sword on his lap. Knowing LSP, he’d probably be here for a while.

“And don’t try to act all innocent or whatever!” She narrowed her eyes. “What are _you_ doing, going around at night and trying to hit people in the head? Isn’t it past your like, bed time or something?”

“Hey, hey, you scared me. You looked like a monster!”

“A _monster?_ Oh. My. Glob. It’s thirty- _ten_ , Shermy, you can't just say things like that! I'm _so_ blogging this. “Rude cat attacks innocent girl in the forest then insults her!” Despicable!”

He rolled his eyes, sighing.

LSP pulled out her phone, glaring at Shermy after dialing someone. “What’s with that stupid box, anyway? Why do you cats just carry boxes around?”

“It’s—“

“Shut up, it's ringing!” She interrupted, turning from him. “Yes? Hello? Oh, girl, you are _not_ gonna believe this.”

“Uh, look LSP…” Shermy began, only to be ignored entirely as the royal held her conversation. He huffed, his tail swaying side-to-side impatiently. “I’m just gonna go…”

She lowered her phone angrily. “Huh? What, are we just gonna pretend you _didn’t_ try to murder me? Where are you even _going_?”

“The Box Kingdom for the… the thing. The Hair Ball.”

“The _Hair_ Ball?” She snorted, visibly amused. “What, is that some dumb cat party? Sounds  _totally_ boring!”

“Yeah, well, I’m really in a hurry,” Shermy offered as he advanced in the direction of the path. “See you later, LSP.”

He heard her mutter something, but didn’t care enough to investigate. Escaping her was a blessing in of itself, regardless. This was the first time he spoke to her without Beth nearby, who was much, much better at dealing with LSP.

“I don’t know how Beth does it,” he admitted to himself, subconsciously remembering to take the left fork in the road.

He was nearing the Box Kingdom now, he could almost feel it. His surroundings quickly grew more and more familiar as the trees and underbush thinned out. His pace quickened with his increased confidence, before the entirety of his destination appeared in the distance. He emerged out of the darkness of the forest, approaching the edge of the hill that overlooked the great kingdom. Nestled entirely inside a large clearing within the Great Forest, the all-too families cardboard structures immediately sparked old memories in the cat’s mind.  He saw his kin wandering through the night within the city walls, and took a deep breath. The sights and smells… they were all those of an old home. Yes, without a doubt, he knew he had arrived… at the Box Kingdom.


End file.
